In the world of video games, there are classics like Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, and Tetris. And then, there's Splatterhouse—a game so unapologetically gruesome that it makes zombies look like they're on vacation in Hawaii. If you've never heard of Splatterhouse, don't worry; you're not alone. This gory gem has been lurking in the shadows for years, and it's about time we shine a light on it.

Picture this: it's a dark and stormy night (because when else would you play a game like this?). You find yourself in a creepy, dilapidated mansion, the kind that has "bad decisions were made here" written all over it. Enter Rick, your average Joe who's about to have a very bad day. His girlfriend, Jennifer, gets kidnapped, and he's left with no choice but to put on a haunted hockey mask that possesses the power to turn him into a ripped, hulking monstrosity. Imagine crossing Hulk Hogan with Jason Voorhees and you're pretty much there! 

The gameplay in Splatterhouse is straightforward—just move from one side of the screen to the other, pulverising anything that gets in your way. And trust us, there's a lot that gets in your way. This game has more monsters than a Scooby-Doo episode on steroids. There are zombies, demons, and creatures that can only be described as "what-was-the-developer-thinking?"

If there's ever a game that's a perfect companion for Halloween, it's Splatterhouse, but it's also the reason why therapists have job security.

But it's not all doom and gloom in Splatterhouse; there's a dark sense of humour woven throughout. The game knows it's over-the-top and leans into it with a twisted grin. For example, you'll find weapons like chainsaws and 2x4s with nails sticking out of them, just lying around for Rick to use. Because when you're in a haunted mansion, why wouldn't you stumble upon a chainsaw on the living room coffee table?

Then there are the bosses. Oh boy, the bosses. You'll encounter creatures so massive and grotesque that they put the Exorcist's head-spinning scene to shame. And to defeat them, you'll need to use whatever's at your disposal—furniture, your fists, or that aforementioned handy chainsaw. Splatterhouse teaches us that when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you chainsaws, well, make minced demon meat. You'll plow through enemies like a tornado through a trailer park, and it's oddly satisfying.

Splatterhouse is the game that dares you to enter its twisted, blood-soaked world, and once you do, you won't be able to tear yourself away. It's a guilty pleasure, a game that's so outrageous it becomes addictive. So, this Halloween season, when you're looking for a game that's equal parts horror and hilarity, reach for the start button on Splatterhouse and prepare to unleash chaos like never before.

Just remember to keep a mop handy, because the amount of virtual bloodshed you're about to witness might make you want to clean up the real world afterward. Happy splattering!

Splatterhouse at Arcade Club